a preacher's attempts at writing

Meeting Gracious people of OMF LIT

2008-05-17T18:46:00.002+08:00

One of the pleasant gifts and surprises in life is when God allows you to meet people! I think thats a loaded statement for many of us who for one way of the other have found our false comfort on being alone or simply locked in our individuality. Yes we are unique so unique that its not meant to rot without taking the risk to relate to others. I think that's the lesson i learned and i will cherish. As I met the light hearted people of omf lit.

They just don't publish their books they practice grace. I have learned a lot! Thanks to my brother whose influence in my life always brings me back to deep thoughts and a lot of laughter. I really agree that the godly are the most light hearted. More the books at the omf lit manila, it's really their grace filled attitude that makes people feel accepted when they go inside the bookstore.

kuhol este cool talaga ang mge taga omf lit! Lalu na yung anak ng pastor sa marketing ang pangalan niya starts with letter g........ methodist siya kaya tamang tama sa letter g sa liturgy hahahahah

handling success in grace

2008-05-17T18:44:00.001+08:00

HANDLING SUCCESS IN GRACE

By: Rev. Arnel C. Tan

“At Daniel’s request, the king appointed Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to be in charge of all the affairs of the province of Babylon, while Daniel remained in the king’s court” Daniel 2:49

It’s one thing to be successful and it’s really another issue to handle your success in grace. Daniel modeled this for us. While it’s true that he is the man in skin for handling success in grace all his trail points us back to God the One who gave him success, its not our goal to paint a superman in Daniel. People like him are rare. Many can handle adversity while many stumbles face flat threading the slippery role of victory. It’s when we are at the pinnacle of success that our spiritual boundaries are either defined or rapidly becoming blurred.

As much as Daniel needed God in captivity the more he acknowledge his need of God in the palace. Remember he served kings whose moods and power differ from each other. Yet these monarchs wanted Daniel nearby. In times of crisis Daniel gave the best advice. His tenacity in politics is remarkable. He did not only stay long he stayed clean! Before we make Daniel look flawless let us remember that everything is because of the favor (grace) of God.

Favor from God or grace is very clear to Daniel. No wonder he carefully handled his success in grace! How? He the LORD as the source of all of these blessings He remembered his friends who prayed with him. This is something worth remembering when God allows us to taste success let us not forget that we did not reach the top on our own. Someone along the way helped us! Daniel handled success well in grace by not treating his friends as competitors but companions, and his enemies he treated them calmly in prayer and not in vengeance. Daniel in grace let go or shared his powers instead of hoarding it.

Before the king or before the lions Daniel knew his identity as a recipient of God’s grace. I like the word “request” this is a language of grace while “demand” is an expression of control and legalism. He has always been in the request mode from captivity as he dealt with the king’s chef and before Nebuchadnezzar himself he still uses the grace word “request” what a man! Many have become unbelievably demanding while in authority and few have shown grace. Success is very revealing. Honestly, we are not sure of what it will reveal about us. For the mean time the attitude we show in where we are now is most probably be the same attitude we will manifest if ever God grants us a taste of success. Consider your place today as a preparation for what God has planned for you tomorrow. The bottom line handling success in grace is all about how you view yourself and how you view God!

FINDING STRENGTH IN GOD

2008-05-13T08:35:00.001+08:00

FINDING STRENGTH IN GOD

By: Rev. Arnel C. Tan

“…….But David found strength in the LORD his God.”

1 Sam. 30:6 NLT

David under the most stressful moment of his leadership survived when he found strength in the Lord his God. This is a wonderful intimate picture of David’s relationship with the LORD. Here we see David personally so acquainted with his God. In the most trying moment he found God so near, so real. Such relationship of being near God and being strengthened by God is not the experience of many. Not that it’s not available nor was it kept in a hidden code; it’s really an open secret that few dare to explore.

Such simplicity of finding strength in the Lord requires a faith relationship with God. No time wasted proving the existence of God, much time is allotted in knowing God, resting in God and being strong in God. It’s also a desperate call for help and a deliberate abandonment of all false source of confidence. Until it’s really God alone as the source and the sufficiency of life and meaning of our existence and His glory the pursuit of our heart we wallow in shallow waters. Ignorant of the things we say, detached from true communion with the Almighty.

I really wonder especially in the darkest time of my life if this Old Testament record of David finding strength his God is still true today? My heart in many dark night of the soul could not even describe the abyss that I am in. If there is one thing very difficult to do is to lie to your heart. Feelings are expert liars, restraint within are so difficult to achieve when the inner man wants full release from bondage hard to describe. Perhaps David having been familiar with this dark corner of life where his leadership is waning and his crisis increasing can only run to God with whom whose presence and promise he enjoyed.

While David’s crisis and ours seem to have been eaten by a stubborn web of complication the way out and the way to survive is still made so simple. Find strength in God. After all we tried the many medicines and promise of relief from the experts we still find true rest when we finally come back to God and be strengthened by Him. It’s no longer our strength it’s God’s strength at work! It’s declaring dependence rather than independence that the weary finds rest, or rest finds him. This is a case of reckless abandonment of our deep wounds into the care of the Great Physician. Oh weary one after everything has been said and done, bloodied and messy and sick and tired of being sick and tired we still find that our way back to safety is drawing close to the LORD. And David found strength in the LORD his God in other words it means CALL ON THE LORD! Next time let’s not try to experiment let’s experience the strength that comes from God! Believe me He is more than willing He is able!

BLOGGING AGAIN!

2008-05-08T21:01:00.002+08:00

It's been really a while since i made another entry to this blog. I don't know what bit me tonight I thought of renewing my blog. Special thanks to you who took time to read and comment, believe its special to me. I've been around lately so humbled by the opportunity that the Lord is opening, honestly something is changing i really wish that i could pray more than preach more. i feel my own inadequacy and the tremendous responsibility before God when you are being listened to.

Aside from my sunday preachings in church i wish to add no more. I've said "no" to many invitation lately. Not because of anything else it's just a strong conviction to pause and do some hard thinking than frequent preaching. It spiritually nourish me more than ever, to be in prayer meetings with God's people.

THANKS FOR DROPPING BY

THE GRACE FO GRIEVING

2007-11-23T10:11:00.000+08:00

THE GRACE OF GRIEVING

By: Rev. Arnel Tan

Then Jesus wept. John 11:35 NLT

Seeing the Son of God weeping, grieving for the death of a friend is not only an awesome and mysterious, it’s comforting too others who are grieving too. This is a grace modeled by Christ that gives permission for us to grieve our loss. To express it in tears when words fail to articulate what we feel inside. Tears are language that God understands because He too had to shed it Himself. Grieving is an act of grace simply because it is showing that we are not man and woman of steel, somehow our personalities may differ but inside we are all the same. We are WEAK!

The grieving of Christ as expressed in his weeping models a unique grace of how the One who is willing to grieve is a comfort to others who are grieving and an encouragement to those who refuse to grieve over a loss. It is in this time that His weeping more than his preaching has ministered comfort to many. Some were touched, while others demanded for more spectacular miracles. By the way we don’t weep or grieve to create an impression we grieve and weep to express our humanity and to surrender to God’s sovereignty. Tears per se are not a requirement for repentance yet for those who repent often we find it difficult not to shed tears.

The grieving of Jesus allows us to see not a divine crack or weakness rather a taste of grace that our tears are valued by the Almighty. How opposite from what the world taught us that crying is weakness. Here we learn that the cry of the helpless and the grieving is the beginning of an unsuspected source of strength! In a nutshell, it’s OK to cry! Personally, I am not a stranger to tears, somehow I am beginning to be conscious of it especially when I am preaching. Above the “embarrassment” that weeping brings to a minister the freedom and relief it brings inside is overwhelming. I remember the Psalmist saying “Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.” (Psalm 126:5). That’s not just a good stuff to quote that’s a good seed to plant and a harvest to enjoy!

What do you think is the message of “Jesus wept” to you? For me it’s a language of grace that is expressed in grieving. When will grieving end and moving on begin? No one can really tell when the grieving stops. Probably it won’t end in this life. The good news is in every time we grieve God weeps with us and provides grace to finally accept what humanly we can never accept. After some time of intense grieving while doing my afternoon walk at the nearby cemetery (a God given spot to grieve), I found a deep sense of freedom inside, sound of shackles dropping and a fresh song from my heart saying or singing Horacio Spafford’s hymn “it is well with my soul” and this time it’s not just a song you sing in funerals, it’s a song of a soul finally set free! Thank you weeping Savior, thank you for allowing me to weep too, no wonder why You can wipe tears.

GRIEVING

2007-11-22T11:11:00.000+08:00

GRIEVING

By: Rev. Arnel Tan

“Then Jesus wept.” John 11:35

I heard Mr. Philip Yancey spoke one time I heard him say we live in a fallen world of pain. I am not sure if I quoted him exactly, but the idea is we are living in a fallen world and pain is something we cannot escape. The things that God created to be good such as marriage, sex and the meaning of life has been perverted by the evil one. Then in the midst of a perfect environment inhabited by perfect people death came by the disobedience of Adam and Eve. Like a domino effect pain became a part of the fallen humanity. Why did Adam and Eve not die as what was said? I can only say that they should have died and all the soul that sinned must die, yet the DELAY OF DEATH is an early preview of the mercy of God.

When pain meets us head on and when it is no longer a theological or psychological topic we slowly understand the meaning why Jesus wept. He modeled to us the grace that is found in grieving. Grieving is an expression of intense sorrow over a loss. Underscore the words intense sorrow; this was the feeling of Jesus when a good friend died. To see Sovereignty grieving is an awesome sight! A lot of mystery wraps the weeping of God. We may not fully understand what this is about, or perhaps this is not meant to be dissected into theological cubes for the consumption of the wise. Maybe this is something God Himself modeled for the hurting and the wounded to cope with life’s loss and eventually move on in grace.

One way or the other we all have experienced a certain degree of loss. Loss of a love one, a pet, a marriage, loss of integrity, loss of a one life time break, or simply put loss of hope. While the experience of having to loose something or someone is universal. There is one important issue that many chose to skip; in fact many chose to bury this ahead over what they have loss. What is it? It’s called the act of GRIEVING OVER THE LOSS.

While God showed us His Son grieving and the Holy Spirit being grieved by our sins and stubbornness, we mortals have brushed it aside.

Don’t you it’s time to take Jesus’ hand and ask Him to grieve with you. Or ask Him to teach you and walk with you in this difficult pathway. More than a therapy or emotional release, grieving opens the door to recovery; bring us to the next step of moving on. Is it true that we don’t want to grieve because we still think we are strong? And we can handle the loss? Grace abounds to the grieving soul; brokenness opens doors of new beginning. Being crushed in the spirit and being in tears somehow brings us to a new day of moving on. Don’t you think you have denied yourself of grace of grieving over the losses in your life? Take the step and ask Jesus He knows everything about grieving. When you say God be merciful it actually conveys the idea of God crying with you.

P.S. If you know someone grieving remember more than words they need a shoulder to cry on and a gracious permission to grieve.

Prayer Mentor

2007-11-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

In many humbling and surprising ways the Lord raise the ordinary to do the extraordinary for his glory. My friendship with Alex Gunay i call him tozer started when I was tasked to scout the next station manager for DXKI in marbel south cotabato. The life of Alex represented a model of what God can do to a man who acknowledges his nothingness. I am humbled by his hunger to know God. Unknown to him he became a mentor to me. Inspired by how he wakes up and takes a cold bath and pray in the morning, i find myself doing the same. A simple and yet deep man of faith.

I have no doubt that more awakenings will come out of him as he obeys God into the pastoral ministry. I am an excited child watching in awe what God will do to a man whose desire is to glorify his Lord. He never acted like a mentor nor clamored to be one. In his own simple and honest way he became one to me, and to others that silently watch him.

Each time i take a trip to DXKI part of my excitement is to learn from him and see how God honors those who honor Him. I am prayerful that his roots will grow deep and bear fruit that last. I prayerful that his prayerful life open his eyes to see more of Jesus, and in deep roots and grace filled discernment see things in God's perspective. Though not ordained and non Mdiv yet he became a unassuming mentor to me. His simplicity and kindness is his unique mark of grace and not his competence. In the end of life its the kind that made a difference not the competent.
Thanks Alex tozer gunay

A Reluctant Preacher

2007-11-11T20:42:00.000+08:00

it's a rare sunday for me i did not have my regular preaching in our church, believe it's a timely relief. It's not a joke preaching four services on a given sunday. I spoke on the 59th thanksgiving anniversary of Capital Alliance Church in Toril. Rev. Bert Labawan is most gracious to have me preach in their anniversary. It was a wonderful moment of worship and prayer! When the worship leader led us in worship song tears stream down my cheeks. This is something i haven't experience in the past. It's a new sensitivity to God's presence. I think it is this chapter of my life that makes a reluctant preacher out of me.

Reluctant not because of rebellion to God's call but a deep realization of my personal inadequacy and a heavy realization that preaching transcends words, it's a tall order to the preacher himself! How safe just to be in the pew than the man behind the pulpit. It's sacred task that makes you so vulnerable, knowing that your so human. Lord help! Honestly, someone has to do the job so to speak, someone called by God has to stand there and bring sense of God back into the main stream of life. Reluctant because, of the holy expectation that is built within the office of the preacher, reluctant because i know what a graceless heart i have. Reluctant because the job of preaching is a powerful influence to the people who hear. I have more reluctant reasons that cannot put into words for now.

This reluctance makes me seek God in prayer. Every opportunity to stand and preach is a sacred task not to be taken lightly. There is a sense of holy duty to really seek God in earnest prayer if i am the man who will bring God's word. It's a moment that calls to embrace the grace of God as it fearlessly reveal the many ungracious side of my life. Honestly, I think this reluctance leads me not that to seek a podium to pound my thoughts, but to quietly savor lessons for me in my unknown corner. A passion to be a learner than to be a lecturer, a child that need more instruction and only when necessary i wish to open my mouth and quickly hush. This is good for my soul! I pray that i may dig deeper on this a new kind of blessed reluctance.

RELUCTANT PREACHER ANEW

2007-11-11T20:38:00.000+08:00

Some thoughts again

2007-11-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

It's been some time really since i started to blog my thoughts. Many things happened as in many simple and complicated things. Signs of midlife is one of them. A minister in midlife, believe me it's a tough corner to be in. I guess that midlife madness explains a prolonged silence in my blogging life. Honestly, I find it too complicated to write my feelings. You don't even know where to begin and how it would end. This blog is unplanned believe me. I think we need more unplanned moments to feel that life is not as structured as we have thought or made it to be. Spontaneous moments are refreshing moments reminding us of fresh grace.

Well, i think im slowly, coming back to my normalcy hahhhaha. I have learned the importance of the two choices of life wherever and whatever life may bring you. You either depend or despair. The proud hates the idea of depending on someone, sadly that includes depending on God. No wonder the proud is further caught in a self made rut. Depending on someone is non negotiable, this is one area that choice is not the issue but stubbornness is. From baby's diaper to adult's diaper thats the point, we are not created to be alone, many choose to be alone and lonely. The other choice aside from depend is despair. If we can't depend or won't depend we have chosen despair.

Depend on whom? well I finally learn from what i've been preaching, it is full dependence on God. The word 'surrender" is not just a cliche to me it's a timely word of refuge and rebuke. Fresh and daily surrender to God really makes a whole difference in this life's madness. Humbling and humiliating and yet nourishing the soul, even to blog again.

tradional birthday crab

2007-07-03T21:17:00.000+08:00

I don't remember when exactly this crab dinner started. It's my eldest son's favorite for his birthday. Today Paul celebrates his 14th birthday! Im awes trucked the small boy is now a young man! I remember putting candles on a steamed crab for his birthday during his younger days, yes crab instead of a cake. After a song and prayer we all dig in for the feast! Those precious moments of being a family. Paul being a minister's so grew in a simple home, im sure he is not all the way appreciative of what he has in a pastor's home and being a PK is a tremendous pressure.

Today his 14th birthday almost slipped away, thank God it didn't. Mama was not with us, we took Fitz with us and use his new car. We went to a chinese resto for a crab! No regrets when i heared my visa card cranked, this is for my son, nothing is too precious than this night! Nothing dramatic happened oh how teenagers detest emotions especially from an emotional dad like me. I tried my best to simply listen (God knows how i restrained), Paul's thoughts were honest and deep answering the query of uncle Fitz on how it is to be a preacher's kid, he spoke of tremendous pressure and high expectations that he has to contend with. I just sighed feeling load for the boy and silently offered a prayer for grace to abound. What about the perks of being a PK? i eagerly await what he will say, then the bite of reality " I am still trying to find out the perks" oooouch. Hurt? actually its more an awakening in my part and a silent prayer again for God to dash some gladness in his young heart. It's not a complaint or anger, i simply sensed honesty out of his heart.

It was a fine evening of deep thoughts for me, perhaps a lesson on grace and a challenge to bend down and see the world from his view. i pray that despite this all one day Paul will finally find the right words to describe the perks of being a PK. I love you son! Til the next crab dinner!

Watchout!

2007-07-03T10:28:00.000+08:00

War on Greed!

Camouflaged greed is not easy to detect because they look so safe and it is covered by good noble intentions such as “it has helped a lot of people already”. Who can detect this deadly enemy? This greed virus has crept into the hearts of many, not only among those who defiantly reject God, but even those who sincerely follow God. This hellish weapon comes as a spiritual stealth undetected by our religious radars.

The Lord Jesus has never failed to warn us against all kinds of greed, remember the parable of the rich fool? Recorded in the gospel of Luke chapter 12 verses 13 -21 is the complete detail. It all started with an interruption coming from someone in the crowd, asking Jesus to be an arbiter against the internal family squab regarding the issue of inheritance, sounds familiar to me. Go into the records of our courts and up to the highest court of the land the Supreme Court and you will find a lot of similar cases. Greed proves to be thicker than blood! What is supposed to be an interruption Jesus took it as a timely opportunity for instruction and spiritual insights? For though it came as a personal request it reveals a general curse that has infected mankind – the problem of greed!

Jesus calls the rich man in this parable a “fool” not because he is rich, not because he built a larger barn, not even because he planned to eat drink and be merry. What is then why Jesus called him a fool? It is because of his greed! It’s a case of a man possessed by his possessions. Remember the warning of the Lord is to watch out, be on guard, to all kinds of greed, can you detect your kind of greed? May the Lord help us see the destruction that greed brought and the deception that it has wrought even among those who are working for this glory? WATCH OUT is timely warning.

· GREED FOR GLORY

· GREED FOR GOLD

· GREED FOR GAINS

· GREED FOR GADGETS

· GREED FOR GRADES

· GREED FOR GARBAGE

· GREED FOR PLEASURE

· GREED FOR PRAISE

· GREED FOR MORE

May we remember the words of Christ “real life is not measured by how much we own” Yes we all know this from our cranium, the question is have we experience its effect deep down our hearts? Has it redefined our priorities? Redirected our pursuits?

Let the words of Jesus disturb our peace with greed so there will be a sense of helplessness in us to fight it then we call for Help, then deliverance from greed happens!

King Asa

2007-06-30T17:41:00.000+08:00

I usually do my jogging with my dogs at the nearby cemetery near where I stay. Aside from the physical benefits of dog walking and not to mention a very effective way to relieve me of “ministerial stress” it has also given me the special moment to reflect and do some timely realization. My jogging / dog walking ritual allows me to observe several things like the reading of the epitaphs written on the tombs. I remember what Philip Gurlley ( a Quaker minister) said about epitaphs, in reading people’s epitaphs you can read the name of the person and two important dates: birth date and the death date. Here you realize the brevity of life and you can’t ignore the question that runs like this “ between those two dates is there a life well lived?”

What then is a well lived life? By what standard shall it be measured? Who can say that such life is well lived? As a believer in Jesus Christ I am confident that eternal destiny of those who trusted Christ as their Lord is already guaranteed safe! But the life lived while waiting for eternity is another story. One can be saved and yet die sad. I have in my mind King Asa the king who called on the Lord for Help and deliverance and yet on the 35^th year of his rule Asa declined spiritually from brokenness he is back to self sufficiency, you can read his story in 2 Chronicles 15-16. He died sad and obviously he did not lived a well lived life. For the simple standard of the condition of his heart, he NO LONGER CALLED ON THE LORD FOR HELP!

Here’s the answer to our question what’s a well lived life? A well lived life is the life that is not lived for self but for the GLORY of the Lord, a life that breathes on the altar of fervent prayer calling upon the Lord for Help, a life that is HUNGRY for God Himself and daily surrendered for His purpose. Jesus Christ our Lord must be the source of our strength and His glory the pursuit of our living. Have you ever taken a necessary pause and ask yourself the timely question “Am I read for eternity?” “Am I living a well lived life?” The answer lies in the person of Christ. Jesus defines what a well lives life is.

“…..Even when the disease became life threatening, he (Asa) did not seek

The LORD’S HELP.” (2 Chronicles 16:13)

Oh how sad, having begun with trusting God and ended trusting self. Sad indeed! We need the Lord today more than we needed Him yesterday. Let us always find ourselves in great need of God! This is how we face eternity and live life well! I NEED THEE OH I NEED THEE EVERY HOUR I NEED THEE!

Learning to face your doubts in grace

2007-06-29T11:21:00.000+08:00

The Christian journey is not about a race it’s a journey of faith and spiritual maturity. Along this rugged path we learn to deal with the realities of sufferings and other many obstacles that actually birth more questions than doubt. I agree with the feeling and honest observation of Dr. Charles Swindoll about the hymn “My Faith has found a resting place” there’s a line that says “it ends my fears and doubts” according to Chuck though our faith is settled in Christ, it does not end our fears and doubts. I bring myself aside and try to ask the hard questions regarding the issue of doubt. I must admit I have many more in my heart. Candidly, I say that sometimes I need to confront my self after I preach a sermon the hard question that probes down the depth of my heart-“Do I really believe what I just have said?” It’s a scary yet necessary moment.

Who drives the dark clouds of doubt away? How long and how soon are they gone? Or how quick they return? I take refuge on the grace of our Lord in dealing with my doubts, especially how the Lord is ever present and ever gracious when we are bombarded with our doubts, even those ones that falls border line with being a heretic? Yes the Lord remains GRACIOUS. Remember Thomas often called the “doubter” it took 8 days in doubt before finally recovering from it. I wonder how was life in those days of doubt? What could have happened if the Master did not meet him? Perhaps the relevant question now is what are going to do with our own “8 days” or more days in doubt? Let’s learn to face it in grace as the Master is gracious. When in doubt I find these insights very helpful

When in doubt express it.
When in doubt learn to face it instead of covering it
When in doubt learn to restrain in making commitments or declaration, put aside.
When in doubt learn from it, pay attention to it
When in doubt take it to God in honest prayer.
When in doubt depend on God to triumph over it.
When in doubt learn to live with it

As of the moment I find these insights helpful to me, they are not hard fast rules and certainly not infallible just some lessons I have learn along the journey of life. I am prayerful that this will be useful to you too, remember this verse:

“Jesus told him, “ I am the way the truth and the life. No one come to the

Father except through me.” John 14:6 NLT

This is the bed rock foundation of evangelical Christianity, yet before we forget this is God’s gracious answer to a disciple who dared express his doubt. The presence of doubt in our hearts does not erase the grace of God, honestly it magnifies it! Let’s all learn to deal with our doubts in GRACE.

Prayers

2007-06-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

I think the best answer i got on the question "why pray?" is from Philip Yancey, "we pray,because Jesus prayed" Prayer though much talked about, much affirmed that its really needed remains a bitter herb to us. There's no immediate attraction to it like a 'hersheys" bar, it's actually so plain and yet once you are in it the plainer it can be the best you enjoy it. Though well meaning many of us ministers have added a lot of our own additives than what God meant prayer to be. How sad and how sour legalism turned prayer to be. As i look back since 2005 in the last month of August when my heart was stirred by God to really pray! The battle is on not of any excessive warfare stuff, but more on the battle to the complications that our legalistic heart has attached to something plain and liberating like prayer.

Helps me a lot to simply things when i go back to the basic that prayer is the cry of the helpless, and that God hears the cry of the helpless, regardless of there semantics or sound doctrine. It's not a lecture, a monologue its a blood bought communion with the Almighty! How could i miss this in the 20 plus years of ministry! Now that God brought it back my battle cry is Lord help is see it as plain as you want us to see it. May we learn to grace it all over with the oil of your mercy, may it always remain a sweet hour of prayer. Free us from additives, may we trust Christ and trust Him alone! Just plain prayer no additives please.

Feelings

2007-06-23T18:00:00.000+08:00

Feelings misty watered colored feelings este memories pala hehehehhe. Actually i have nothing specific in my mind this time. I want to veer towards an untapped strength in us, it's always a suspect for being inaccurate, and when you venture to take time to relish it's meaning you get a lot of cautions than encouragement- im talking about feeling your feelings. Honestly, i think there's a place for this in ones heart or much more in one's theology. As write, i am trying to resist all the shields that others and most of the time i have made around this matter. They are well meaning shields to protect you from the excess i agree. yet too much of these "protective shields" robs us of something wonderful? hmmmp

I would like to dare trod a little bit deeper in this uncharted water of my life. Being afraid of water i think i shall go to it inch by inch, if your anchor is deep in grace and truth this journey i think appreciates grace that allows you to walk in the unconventional. With a cup of coffee in a lazy saturday afternoon, savoring the remaining moments of rest, i will give it a try..... i am starting to smile allowing my heart to bring me to the most happy, romantic, scary moments of my life. This brings a dash of colour in my black and white existence. Perhaps the next step to try is travel.....ooooops im getting deep out from my hole. Lord help!

this few moments to be me at least in this blog, makes me feel good inside. Tomorrow will be work i really want to say worship at church but sometimes it really feel work than worship. I prayerful that God will change my heart, to be truly His worshiper than just someone who happen to say things about God. I hope this will be the beginning of something meaningful in my very predictable existence. I venture to ask why good moments only last for a short time? Romance love and spontaneous chat something rare now a days? The need to survive and the need to put others first invades your few moments of happiness. Rules over relationships, unwritten expectations, and an eternal hounding of some sound that you must act this way or that continue to dogged you all along... this is how i feel today. Heresy perhaps? I think its honesty with my feelings that has been for sometime kept. Thank God I can speak free to Him in prayer, especially those ones that cannot qualify to be in the pastoral prayer yet God desires to hear it. I think God wants me to visit my feelings more often than once in a while, really makes me human than a minister. Im beginning to enjoy the journey.

Waiting?!

2007-06-22T09:52:00.000+08:00

Who wants to wait? Who is not irritated when you are trapped into a waiting mode by someone who comes late? By nature we dont want to be kept waiting, this is especially true to those who made it a goal not to make others wait for them. However waiting changes its mode when we see how God is involved in the waiting period whether voluntary or induced. Here we begin to see things in a different light. Here we realized the disaster we could have gotten ourselves into or others if we did not wait.

Waiting on the Lord is a holy productive time of listening to His voice and to your heart too. We listen to Gods' voice and humbly submit to His ways. It is transcending the pressure to hurry and the vicious snare of worry. It is a choice to turn the intensity of worry into fervent prayers. Then like something too good to be true we experience the peace of God that no human mind can ever understand. Prayer and God's word under the guidance of the Holy Spirit are the tools we need in waiting on the Lord. I believe when you decide to wait on the Lord than rush into what you think right and what you labeled as urgent brings about more benefits than you can imagine . The hurried and the worried gets the nod of the crowd( who like them are cruel perfectionist) because of their fast track lives, but the calm and prayerful (at heart and not showing it as a spiritual badge) gets a deep sense of the wonder of God Himself,

Perhaps a good question to ponder is "why am i such in a hurry? Or why am I so worried? let this probing question test our actions so we can see the perspective of God and in prayer experience His peace. There are greater danger and disaster when we go ahead of God, and to let us taste our own doze God lets us, so when we hit th consequences of our impulsiveness head on we come back wanting to wait, no longer trapped but broken, humbled. Remember that in the Love of God everything is on time. meaning there's no need to hurry and worry! When our hearts are trained by God into a waiting mode, even morning rush can be a blessed hush- becoming a pleasant time of communion with the Lord.

"Wait patiently for the LORD Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 NLT

Mall, MRT and my brother

2007-05-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

Another much needed awakening must happen and it has initially taken place in my heart.The traveler in me must be awakened! My youngest brother Alex ushered this awakening in my heart. I really dont like travel especially that part of travel that makes it look like you are a part of the "amazing race contest" whew i hate it! yet silently deep down my heart lies a wonder and a wish for travel. I still find my self amazed by the sceneries of other countries especially those with pines and log cabins, fire places, nature, lakes and of course I silently long to bring my family there with me and our dogs too. All of these are hidden in the wish corner of my heart!

My brother alex who has modeled grace more than i have preached it from the pulpit never gave up on me. Patiently trying to stir the writer and traveler in me. I had fun! My first MRT ride was scary and yet a timely awakening of the real life in this hurried city of manila. Our trip to the Malls gave me a new sense of freedom from my daily grind. and to be with my brother somehow made me feel i still have a family, I deeply admire his colorful life of fun and spiritual depth. I must admit it was learning time for the preacher. Oh boy he can survive this overcrowded Manila, wow that's my brother!

Our long walk from his apartment at UP bliss to the campus of UP dilliman was a wonderful moment between brothers, i offer a silent prayer for him as we hum along songs like "I go to the rock". Our dinner was great the iced tea was super! A day in the mall was truly rewarding, we went to power books spend a unhurried time enjoying life without dead lines. A much needed nap after our search for "go nuts' donuts for my wife and kids i bought my son archie comics im sure he would like it. This time no demands for glee a phlegmatic smile is enough. Slowly learning grace in seeing the differences in personalities.

Then a good movie everybody were watching spider man 3, we chose to watch the "shooter" it was fun. I think we were less than 10 people in that theater, that was nice! Like any other good time and magical moments i has come to an end, alex brought me to the airport and im on my home back to Davao. it's good to be back yet more than anything else it's good to really see whats inside the heart and live it out. It's a real blessing to have a brother who mentored me what grace and full life is all about. Mall, MRT rides and m brother alex, a pleasant awakening a remarkable deposit of precious memories.

A Unique Awakening

2007-05-04T13:55:00.000+08:00

it was a series of a unique awakening that happened to me and to the churches that i have been given the privilege to minister to. What makes this unique is that it all started with reluctance in my heart. Remember those moments that you know you can choose, you have been given the ability to choose and yet you feel hostage to the circumstances? That was my initial feeling when we traveled to Dagupan, a duty with initial delight. Indeed God's way is not our ways.

I think some kind of a sacred and quiet awakening started to creep into the predictable life of Dagupan Chinese Baptist chuch when the Holy Spirit stirred a hunger for prayer and a delight to pray once more. Our worship service almost ended by 12nn, it preached with a translator. Pastor Alex Chao's translation of the sermon to chinese was also smooth and light, a sense of liberty was there. God is at work! i didn't felt to give an altar invitation yet the prompting of the Spirit is deep and I extended it- God has touched hearts already so his people responded! it was a deep and quiet awakening of prayer in our hearts. Silently i gave thanks to God for allowing such a remarkable moment as this.

It was not expected that it would be a series of "awakenings" our convention meetings was also remarkably touched by God, no hysteria, no extreme just a deep movement of the Spirit pouring into the lives of empty surrendered vessels. Then our trip to baguio. It was not in the original plan yet the Lord graciously opened the door, my excitement was not just about the beautiful sight of Baguio City, but the prospect of seeing and being there when God once more touch hearts of His people. The Lord granted us another quiet and yet deep kind of awakening during our very simple service held at Baguio Chinese Baptist Church sanctuary, it was remarkable moment of communion with God! Another awakening has started! Silently, i bowed my head in humble thanks for God's touch in my heart. Seeing God's people pray is a wonderful sight to me.

Finally Fun Time

2007-04-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

Honestly, it was something unplanned, some benefits of my impulsive tendency made fun time with my three kids finally POSSIBLE! This morning i just thought of taking tim (my youngest) out for a one on one date. After my noon time broadcast we are all set. Changes happened when the two kids wanted to join the fun, hmmmmp on second thought i said jump in, so we were four fun seeking family! This time it's daddy and kids, my wife decided to stay home for some chores.

You will understand how precious is this time for me as a minister. I can't fully explain why most minister are in this plague of others first then family, please pray for us for many like me have become too tired to have fun with the kids! What tragedy! One kids grow without any memory of family at all or their daddy. Finally, almost accidentally we had fun together. Tim and I had a haircut, while the Paul and Shekinah waited. Then we head off to have kentucky fried chicken before seeing a movie at NCCC Mall. I smiled seeing the kids trying to count the people who knew me at the mall, perhaps at the back of their mind a question that ask when will we have daddy alone? Paul candidly commented "i think there's no place where you don't know anybody" whatever that statement meant it led me to think hard.

The movie was "the bridge of therabitia" it was fun, we had large pop corn, i had coffee. I can sense we all had fun. I bought kids some stuff and my teenager a sleeves sports shirt and a shorts each time they say thanks dad my heart swells with joy and thanksgiving for the opportunity to be their and have somehow build a memory. It feels good to be able to make some right things sometimes especially as a dad! Thanks Lord

Moments flies quickly, the fun has ended and back to our routine. Yet in my heart something is buried to stay, that at least at one time we HAD FUN!

Easter Awareness or Easter Awakening

2007-04-07T20:44:00.000+08:00

I am doing my final review for tomorrow's easter message. Honestly, this annual routine of preaching easter message sends me to a ministerial cramming looking for something new, something relevant about the easter celebration. Something relevant? Isn't the resurrection of Jesus Christ the most relevant and dynamic truth of Christianity? Perhaps the relevance i am trying to seek is not how to make the message of easter handy and useful in the pain and suffering of the modern man. I believe the message but i am struggling on how to communicate it in a fresh way! Then something happened God intervened, answering my plea for wisdom.

This year's easter must transcend easter AWARENESS to easter AWAKENING! I pondered on the the experience of cleopas and his friend at the road to emmaus. Incidentally, only the gospel of Luke recorded this marvelous easter awakening. Prayerfully, I desire that you too as will encounter the risen Lord and experience easter awakening. On their way to emmaus a stranger joined them, later the stranger started to make sense to them that he became their dinner guest, who later led them to an awakening that the Lord is risen....really risen! What's the difference? At first it was just an information regarding the risen Lord, informed but not transformed this is exactly how many celebrate easter today, well informed in the mind yet no divine warmth in the heart! Jesus Himself walked with them, Jesus Himself talked with them, Jesus Himself dined with them! This easter awakening the Risen Lord walks and talks and commune with us!

Don't walk alone let the risen Lord walk with you, talk with you and dine with you! A special journey of faith and prayer, a special time of spontaneous chat, a special time of close fellowship! Easter must transcend awareness to a holy awakening of grace, gratitude, of faith and of fervent prayers wrought about by the risen Lord Himself! Have you experience this awakening? For a preacher like me preparing easter message should no longer be described as ministerial cramming but a holy encounter with the Risen Lord! The Lord is really risen!

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!

Pass word rememebered

2007-04-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

For some time no i have not written something in my blog, this is due to an alarming loss of memory at 38! I forgot my password. Well, I have been forgetting many things lately, keys, dates , names, my kids ages hahahaha and many others. Is this a sign of silent and yet rapid deterioration? Or simply i am unfolding another chapter of life. Moments ago i tried punching in my pass word as i remembered, honestly i really believed i have logged the same password in my past attempts to open my blog yet to no avail. Tonight it worked!

More than this newfound password, I think there's more timely insight to learn. 1. No matter how old and predictable your life might be God still sends some timely surprise! which means to me don't rut there's more to come! 2. No matter how sharp your memory is totally unreliable, get a pen and a note and write your password! ( i know my youngest brother told me this already) 3. follow sound advise immediately 4. Prayer works wonders. 5. Delays are blessings 6. Forgetting creates a new and fresh appreciation when you finally found what you lost.

Well i know there are more lessons to learn about this experience, just to be sure that I dont forget them lets keep it to these 5 items. Rejoice with me I found my password again, and this time i hope and pray to be a little bit more wiser and humble admitting human limitations and resting in the Sovereignty of God, and not to forget expecting surprises!

revisiting grace

2007-02-09T10:51:00.000+08:00

Just when you feel that you know about grace, and have somehow felt like your already a gracious guy youre back to square one! i think that's where i am now. Back to square one. Last sunday i have prepared a sermon series on brokenness, i was not prepared that the Lord will change just one word and it spells a great difference in application. instead of a series on brokenness the Lord change "on" to "of" meaning more than the subject on brokenness, i need a series OF brokenness!

What a way to re learn grace. It is when you are broken that God's grace shines the most! No wonder God wants us to offer to him a sacrifece of broken spirit and a repentant heart. Here we value and embrace the grace of God. How did this all started to me as a first one to apply it. You might not think that its the nearest precious person in your life that would be God's sharp scalpel for brokendectomy (hahahaha).

My son paul whom i love dearly taught me to practice grace but seeing first my ugly side of legalism again. Series of brokenness indeed! Blessed brokenness

A Time with Paul

2006-10-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

They say when your son reaches eleven you are now living on a borrowed time. I think this is painfully true. You wake up one morning and a young man who was once a boy is now before you. Honestly, you dont notice this at all or at once, it takes a close reflection on how time runs fast. How many more christmases before he makes his own christmas tree with his own family. hmmmp i dont really want to think about it.

im just happy tonight that I had a special time with my eldest! No big issues to discussion thank God no arguements! Just thankful that He still likes to have dinner with me. Can' t afford to loose these thoughts from my mind. i think friendship and a LOT OF PRAYER are the key to parenting your teens. Dad is in midlife and my son is a teen, Lord help! It's in simple times like these that we realize how time flies, i really dont know whats going on in his young mind. God is faitfhul thank God i received a love gift this morning so i will have some cash to pay our dinner.

Borrowed time indeed, just thankful that I had a meaningful time with my son Paul. i pray that there will be more times like this. Cherish the moment while its there. Thank You Lord!

A candle light prayer meeting

2006-10-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

It was friday the 13th when we had the most unique prayer meeting in our church. Just when we were about to start prayer meeting about 5:35pm the lights went out! The rest of the block where our church is located have their electricity except our lane. Hmmmmp, it was not friday the 13th it was a timely reminder of our God the Soverreign One! I went to a corner to pray and ask God to bring back the light before the meeting begins. I went to the pulpit and ask the church to pray for the light- The Lord did not grant our request, He wants us to learn something.

Honestly, I was not disappointed that the light did not come back. At this point the women and some of our men and our associate pastors begin to light candles. It was nice to see, flickering lights against the background of darkeness. We can't see clearly who is our seat mate in church the only lights were the lighted candles. As I reflect it was a symbolic moment of God reminding that all of our man made hopes must be temporarily dimed so we can see the beauty of the light of God's hope! Believe me that message is tailored for me.

By 6pm we started the worship, we sang from our hearts and memory "in moments like these" and 'God is so good" lesson when things are dark we all find ourselves becoming childlike in faith and in our singing of those songs whom we thought just for kids. i enjoyed every moment of the candle light prayer meeting. I stood to give the devotion message guided only by a kinky candle light on the podium. i recall that morning when i was preparing for my message for prayer meeting, there is an inner prompting to try to memorize this verses, i did. No i know why, my 37 year old eye cant cleary see as it used to be (reality check growing oooooch old). i preached the verses from memory "Some trust in chariots, some trust in horses but we trust in the name of the Lord our God (Psalm 20:7)

Then we all prayed and felt an unique presence of the Lord! A remarkable friday the 13th indeed, an encounter with the One who is our light! by the way 209 people attended our prayer meeting! God blew some literal fresh wind so we can not sweat all the way. it was pure delight and sacred experience. Shall we call it a night of fresh gentle wind, and a night of fresh grace filled light! God is close to those who call upon His name!

One fine evening

2006-09-26T22:28:00.000+08:00

if you look at it on the outset they look the same, distributed evenly to all, yet in its sameness lies a unique mystery, im refering to TIME. Equally given by the great Time Keeper yet dispensed and used differently by everyone. Some waste it, others are enslaved by the tyranny of the urgent, while others simply shoo it away in indifference. For me i take it one tick at a time. Prayerfully learning to love each moment knowing that Someone makes it beautifully in His time.

Reality bites, not every tick is pleasant. Sometimes it brings mysterous pangs of pain. Tonight is an exemption. My wife and I together with some friends enjoyed a good dinner. Good dinner to me is chinese food yummmm! I have few extra bucks left to enjoy a good eat out. what makes the evening splendid is not just the food, but the timely realization along with it. Before it slips my forgetful mind, let me take time to list them;

1. Good food is enjoyed best when you share it with friends.
2. time that is uncluttered by guilt or by rules is rare, so enjoy it when its there.
3. simplicity in life does not mean deprivation of the good things in life, its enjoying its uncomplicated blessings
4. its a real blessing to have a wonderful wife
5. The smaller the group the more merrier the dinner and less expensive too
6. don't forget to end with good cup of coffee, though the coffee tonight is not that good.
7. making a difference and making a spiritual influence on others need not be by the book, spontaneous flow of friendship is the key.

Well i think it will take some time before i can fully digest my own realizations. By the way whats yours? Don't allow a fine evening just to end with good food. Prayerfully discover the wonderful realizations waiting to be unearthed from the soil of the ordinary time. Above all dont forget the Lord our Wise Time Keeper. Remember anytime now can be time out!

Week of weakness

2006-09-20T10:09:00.000+08:00

I wish all things would all be right and to have fewer mistakes daily. Well, this is not the reality! The more i draw close to God in prayer, the more i realize my perpetual weakness. Believe me this is not just a new phrase for low self esteem. It's a spiritual awakening brought about by fervent prayer! Did i have a bad week? In terms of mistakes not so, but interms of rude spiritual awakening YES!

The activities of this week made me look deep inside me. Though its hard to see things just on the outside (unaware minister like me have a creative way of looking good, giving the impression to others or to one self that all is ok). it's when i spend a much needed quiet moments with God in prayer that i sense and see what's inside. Believe, its an awful sight! God's conviction grows deep penetrating down to the real you. With a helpless sigh i can only cry "Lord have mercy, im weak!"

What's good about this week of weakness is that it made me realize my need of God moment by moment! it is when i consciously acknowledge my need of Christ that in my weakness i begin to see and sense and enjoy God's strenght and God's presence in the most awful moment of my weakness. I take refuge on what saint Paul said "My gracious favor is all you need, and my power works best in your weakness", with this in my heart, I can smile again and face more weeks of weakness, only this time the weak one now learns to cry to the One who is gracious and strong!

Life is daily

2006-08-15T16:49:00.000+08:00

How do you make your daily routine meaningful? Hmmmmmp seems like a simple question, wait until you feel the weight of it, then you feel the complications it brings. We all live our daily rountine, whether it be household or office or school or church ( i almost forgot my routine), believe when you are caught in the rut of it really is boring! that's why we are all in for the search of something new, something refreshing.

The search is on and the journey begins. we try something new only to find out that when it reaches its expiration date something new turns to be something old. Is there a way out? what bounderies are needed to limit our search? or do we need any boundery at all? Is it more exciting and daring when there's no limit- satistfy your curiosity to the max?

Call it midlife or any other name, well i think im in the middle of it. Being a minister im expected to be the model of what's cool or i am wearing a label that says 'he is always ok" im can't blame those who see it that way. Perhaps we sounded that way while we preach or pray, or we pretended to live that way. Let me tell you ministry gets boring too. Is there a way out? A break? I think we all need to brake before we break. that's a good break to begin with- slowdown.

slowly im beginning to figure it out of my rut. im learning the powrful value of intimacy with God in simple desperate prayer. Learning it as a learn the basic of breathing. it works!not only as a theraphy but an encounter with the One who create life and living to be daily. Somehow as see God as my boss (a work related relationship), I guess the Lord Himself has to come in and with me in the dailyness of life and routine. i slowly learn its God Himself i really needed! No proxy, no detour, Himself the cool One! I've been through a lot this year, I don't need to peek through the years ahead, im too afraid to that. it took a lot of guts to log on to death.com to find out how much time left .... it registers i will die on september 25, 2042! whether it true or not one thing is valid the brevity of life. I find myself praying saying " Lord please walk with me, even beyond death.com's dead line. Im still in my daily routine, slowly i see some light when i realize the Lord himself walks with me. til next time we have a walking to do, i think i will bring my dog faith (a dobberma)

Tutoring Tim

2006-06-28T17:56:00.000+08:00

A novelist and a theologian fred buechner aptly said something that is worth a deep thought-finding God in the ordinary! While many are attracted to the supernatural and the miracle many have not paid attention to the ordinary things in life, such as waking, working, above all dreaming. It is this daily routine that we have neglected to discover God. Fredrick adds here God gives meaning to our routine. Thanks to writer Philip Yancey and to my good professsor friend Dr. Bong de la fuente (academic dean of PBTS Baguio) for introducing fredrick to me. i heard him often being quoted by Dr. Bong and Phlilip Yancey wrote about him too.

While i intellectually agreed to his statements i am still igonorant of the pleasure of discovering God while going through the ordinary. My youngest son time whom i fondly call "the lighthearted one" seem to have a hard time with his assignment, came to me for help! Normally my wonderful wife sheryl takes care of this stuff- tutoring kids. Believe me she's the best teacher in the world! Why me for time that night? Well even the best teacher is not spared from fatigue. So super dady to the rescue? Im embarass to say that teaching Tim was not that attractive to me. i could have miss a chance of the life time of seeing my boy grow! And im there to watch him! Eternal thanks Lord!

I remember his awesome attention to me as i slowly help him in making polite sentences. I was teary eyed to see him write! Oh my he can now write. He is now grade one he should know how to write? Yes, but the exitement and the embarassment is how could i allow this wonderful stage to pass by? My heart swell with pride when my wife told me that Tim said I am a good teacher! To me it was more than winning a pulitzer prize! My youngest proud of me? Thanks Lord. Yes an ordinary rountine turned to a meaningful encounter with God, and out of it grace was mined!
This blog is not complete if I ommit this part, in my young mind a memory was etched, it was when my papa brought me to a black board and taught me the alphabet that was awesome! The rest were years of tyranny, it no time to play the blame game now i know. i just remembered that out of the ordinary tutoring time with Tim came out something sacred! Something we daily see and something we daily miss. Prayerfully, never underestimate the ordinary, there you find God or God reveals Himself to you!

Unconfirmed Feelings

2006-06-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

I grew up with the church teaching that feelings are not reliable compass in life, especially as a spritual barometer for critcal crossroads. I still find my self in agreement to this early lessons in the christian faith yet i think we must know the difference between relying on them and totally ignoring them. Love, crushes and romantic impressions have made my world a little bit exicitng and made me willing to take a little risk.

what am i suppose to do? Im learning to put feelings in its proper place not relied upon yet not totally set aside. Though most of these unconfirmed feelings must be better kept safe in the secret compartment of my heart, its good to give a hint to others once in a while. Inside you see things that does not always have a corresponding biblical passage, you enjoy moments of laughter and ecstacy as you allow to revisit that little child in your heart. Like a horror movie you also see mysterious tragedy that if you put it on your sunday sermon it will never be understood. Sometimes an eerie feeling of the something gloomy, that seem not to leave your mind, some kind of a peep into the future and what you see makes your ears tingle.

Well words and feelings sometimes dont catch up with each other. You want to say it plainly only to find you have no right words that can best describe what you feel. Probably the best label is simply to call it UNCONFIRMED FEELINGS. It's another kind of adventure believe me, im slowly taking a risk to stay with it for a longer time. Who knows there's something to personally learn.

Server's Prayer Retreat

2006-05-30T17:18:00.000+08:00

Finally we have gathered together for a time of rest and fun and prayer. Whoever thought that fun and prayer cant go together? it was a wonderful combination. The place was superb a preserved mini forest away from the maddening rountine of ministry and city life. We enjoyed much eating and praying. The food was excellent, most especially due to the excellent heart of Teddy and his crew who prepared it.

It was also a time of tears and a time of getting to know each other up close. Prejudice slowly turned to understanding and a fresh hunger to pray. The prayer time was deep and aunthentic what a marvaleous sight to see and smell the fragrance of brokenness. It was also multi racial something that is so unique at least in our church than in any other chinese churches in the philippines. Uniqueness of culture is obvious and respected, grace abounded. We sung our hearts out from hymns to oldies love song and other favorites. Fun indeed.

In retrospect im still trying to internalize what God is doing and what the Lord is saying to me and to the men in church. i think for the next few days this will occupy my mind. Im looking forward as God unfolds the wondrous. The world will yet see what God can do to those lives who are fully consecrated to Him.

Letter to Jon

2006-05-29T08:39:00.000+08:00

Dear jon,

Let me share some thoughts regarding the various reactions of the people about David Brown's Da vinci code. Personally i think no evangelical would call da vinci code a gospel truth.It is down right false! I think the word "fiction " should settle it all. Various voices are now heard via different media outlets. As a minister and a media practitioner, i think it is necessary that information be made available to whoever wants to know about it. Having said that does not mean that it is endoresed at gospel truth. Information is unstoppable. A greater restraint must now be exercised by the individual who will decide on how the information will influence him or her. We must remember that in this ministry and media as well we function as guides and not gods.

Admittedly film is more convincing than bible instruction or doctrinal roots. However, instead of being paranoid abount the da vinci code let us creatively know our opportunities and limitations Let the evangelical scholars side by side with the da vinci code proponents share their studies and persuasions. Like the good news of the gospel we can only share, a lepper telling another lepper who cleanse him. Being in the ministry of radio broadcast our audience is "sovereign" we can only tell them and somehow equip them to detect false hood when they turn their radio on. Truth need not scream! Lighthouses simply shine!

Let us avoid the extreme of being paranoid and indiffferent on the other side. in this time of doctrinal crises and abundance of heresy from the da vinci code to self proclaimed christs let us contend in fairness and grace, lest we become the monster we hate. let us not forget that the Lord is on the throne and that God honors the fervent prayers of His people. simply put let us make use of our opportunity to speak our minds about the issue, to be informed about it and to properly admit our limits such us we are not able to set people free. Only Jesus Christ can do it but we can point people to Him as the way the truth and the life. We must not be silent, we must not also panic and join the media battle of religion, and instead of being a credible voice we become another form of cheap comedy.
Thanks for doing your part in exercising your God given responsibility to inform and influence as a journalist.

All for now

Minister's Prayer Meeting

2006-05-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

Last Monday prayer meeting in church is unique in its sense. It was a gathering of pastors for the purpose of prayer. Less than 10 local pastors attended. Rev.Richard Altork gave an excellent message then it was followed by a solemn time of prayer. What a sight to see God's ministers on their knees! Personally, it has made a deep spirtual impact in my life. I'm also grateful for my co pastors in church whose heart cry is prayer. They inspire me to serve.

The simplicity of the meeting is rare no pomp no gimmick simply a group of people who wants to pray. Im prayerful that the Lord will do something only He can do a movement of prayer among the pastors. We are looking forward for the next meeting where we all can experience God's touch. It was a time where hunger for God is obvious and a time with Him is precious! No one is above another, we were all needy desperately needy of God Himself!

Im looking forward for next Monday!

unespected encouragement

2006-05-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

I adminstered the ordinance of the Lord's supper tonight. I must admit this ministerial task can really be rountinary. Thank God that He can find a way to bring you out of the rut via an unexpected encouragement. A high school boy by the name of alex approached me and said how the Lord has touched his heart from being uneventful to exciting. He says that he came to church without a goal, but after hearing the message he now has a goal and that is TO KNOW GOD MORE!

The thrill in embarking in this new journey of knowing and hungering for God as mirrored by this young man brought back memories on my own spiritual pilgrimage. I remember how was so thrilled to discover who Jesus to me back then. I recall the same enthusiasm i had talking with preachers. In short glimpse the Lord brought in my heart a timely encourgement though from an unexpected source, that the things the Lord has done through the messages preached is never in vain. To long for Jesus Himself is a new brewing passion in my heart.

My situation is not ideal, im in the middle of a raging storm. Im not even sure when this will stop. I will be hypocrite to say that i have not wished for immediate relief. If only there's a rocket to transport me somewhere else, i will take the first flight! Somehow the Lord is slowly changing my perspective as a i sense that God is changing my longing. Longing to know Jesus more than just immediate relief from the storm. Hearing from alex, made me pause and praise the Lord for indeed He is still the author of these unexpected encouragement.

APPLIED EASTER

2006-04-15T20:01:00.000+08:00

Admittedly one of the struggles of being a preacher is to preach on something that is a yearly menu- like Easter. It's not much that we dont believe in the resurrection. Easter is the central message of Chritianity, anybody who can produce the body of the the Jew on that cross can successfully powder Christianity to miserable pieces. My struggle is not about the veracity or theolology of Easter. I seem to lack words or appreciation on seeing it applied to my life and perhaps to many like me.

How does it give hope to the patient I visited in room 221 at the Davao Doctors hospital this morning? Personally, how does the message of easter apply to my bleeding heart for months now? A dark tunnel only the Lord knows if there is really light at the end of it. How can the message of easter rescue cynicism? Sounds like heresy? I think its sounds like honesty to me. i still have couple of hours before sunday, before I stand to a waiting congregation and preach a message of hope. Lord i need Your help!

Paul wrote to the believers in Colosse "Since you have been risen with Christ..." to me this is a dynamic message of easter. The Applied Easter, it's not even about removing our earthly woes. it's about the person of Christ Himself who is alive! it's about the journey of the new life that Jesus gives to those who put their hope in him. it's about knowing the person of easter and the power of His resurrection. Am i raising hope to the point of a fatal dissapointment? No, it's pointing all of us to the Risen Lord who is alive to walk with us. Yes the risen Lord will walk us through. From the patient on room 221 and to my dark tunnel and helpless cynicism, easter brings us to Christ Himself. And I want to believe it's all we need! HAPPY APPLIED EASTER TO ALL!

MOMENTS

2006-04-01T08:39:00.000+08:00

Time is a mystery. To others its simply too fast and to some a long dragging wait. We by the moments of time and i am hopeful that each moment is wisely use and meaningfully enjoyed. Once it pass you by its gone! Another fresh moment comes along that is entirely different from the one that is gone. A simple reminder that the Lord is the Author of fresh beginnings. Isn't that we all need a fresh start!

Not needing any permission from kings and tyrants or even from ordinary folks these precious moments goes on unstoppable by anyone. There's no pausing or stilling of frame, it simple moves on to another phase. Attending the graduation of my boys I am in the midst of a insighful moments. A time to see how time flies, a time were i honeslty evaluated what has been done, a time to accept that we are not in charge thought sometimes we feel we are in control. A time to silently pray and submit each moment to the One that holds it intact.

A realization must be madea that these earthly moments must come to an end. what shall my last moment be? what would be my last word? what about the eternal moments that will come after it? I pause and pray trying to still a moment, even prayers cant stop the moving on of time, somehow the option left is to accept it as a gift and surrender each moment to the Giver and live it meaningfully to the fullest by getting to know better and better Jesus the ever present One in every moment of time here or on the other side. As for me moments must be lived side by side enjoying long walk or short walk with the Master.

TOLERANCE

2006-03-29T22:08:00.000+08:00

Tolerance can either communicate grace or liscenciousness. It is a tension between truth and falsehood, between extremes. To enjoy the gift of tolerance it requires deep foundation, discernment and setting of clear bounderies. Conviction and compromise play a check and balance kind of existence.

Learning and living a tolerant life must come from a close walk with the Lord, the One who models the real stuff! In the gospel of John it is called grace and truth. A perfect mixture can only be found in its purity in the life of Jesus Christ. The righteous One and the One who is the friend of sinner. Admittedly it is a stuggle to live in grace and truth. It does not come naturally from us. The flesh loves to be unique from others, adores legalism and rules that exalts self.

It takes a Divine touch to overcome prejudice and self righteousness. Just when you think you dont have it in your system it shows its ugly head. O God of grace be merciful to us! Let others be attracted to the gospel that is holy and yet light hearted. It's a tight walk and yet when you consciously live it you can experience the grace the sets us free! Grace sets free and invites the attack dogs of legalism.

A Prayer filled week

2006-03-20T13:04:00.001+08:00

in retrospect i would like to review what transpired last week. As i look back one thing stand very obvious it was a prayer filled week! the concept of being prayerfull most often aligned with emergency or hopelessness. Yes it is our desperation that drives us to prayer. lately im beginning to see and slowly understand there is a difference between desperation for God's blessing or desperation for God Himself?

From the davao to manila i took PAL, the entire flight including waiting periods in the airport were all spent in a meaningful conversation with the Lord in prayer, of course interrupted by naps in between iguess i had more naps than prayers hehehehe. The night before my flight our associate pastor in church invited me to handle the last prayer meeting of the graduating class of a seminary, tired yet determinede to lead it believing that God will manifest Himself in answer to fervent prayers of His children. it was an awesome time in prayer! Words that cannot be uttered where translated to tears, tears that could only mean joy and repentance on how we have neglected prayers.

Our station managers meetings were interuppted by the intense need for prayer. My colleagues bowingdown on our knees asking God to cleanse or close our company. Deep inside my heart i know God took those prayer seriously. The coming weeks will be a scene to watch and wonder seeing God to the things He alone can do. Im beginning to see the desire to be broken among our leaders. By that time this week was done, it was still the subject of prayer that prevailed on the board meetings! slowly i am beginnng to realize that in the area of prayer and crying out to the Lord we are just barely scratching the surface of grace! Lord bring us deeper in prayer! Cleanse or close this is my earnest plea! A prayerfilled week can really make one's spirit strong but leaving the body tired and weak. I have to catch up with some sleep now. ZZZZZZZZ

Passion

2006-03-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

Here is something we are designed to have-Passion! Yet many have contained it somewhere in the chamber of the heart. like the hidded talent it remains hidden and untapped for fear of misusing it and going to the extreme. Somehow i find my self in this predicament. Designed by the Almighty to pursue godly passion yet have chosen to be safe in the self made fool of safe environment.

As i ponder i think I'm missing a lot in life. What keeps me contained in my little pool and not jump out to the sea and explore? Hard to tell? I think its painful to admit that the fear of failure has paralyzed me. Learning freedom in God's grace and pursuing the Giver of it makes a me a little bit more daring to express it and learn to love the passion God gave me, and truly put my whole heart into it. A few step in this new found path brings color into my predictable life.

Thanks for prodding me to seek and exercise my passion- hmmmp im running out of words. ah i think its okay to end without being certain of something? well this could be a beginning of something worth a dip, out of my safe pool into the sea. Scary indeed yet im stepping into it and actually enjoying it! Enjoying and delighting in my duty to enjoy God!

Pressure's off

2006-03-08T12:48:00.000+08:00

Living under the domain of darkness for a long time has indeed created a seemingly indelible imprint of influence in our hearts! thank God through Jesus Christ those who trusted in Him and cried out were recued from darkness! Living in the light is another issue. As we are all grateful for the deliverance we must admit that we are in a great big deal of adujustment living in the light!

Having been in darkness for a long time then to be in the light? Expect irritations and discomfort. As the new way brings new life, the influence of the old dark way is still a foe to contend with. Especially in areas where in it is no supsected as evil the not scandalous evil in our hearts- in one word Legalism!

Legalism is the demon in the darkness that seem to fetter us in the light. Pressures to perform to do evangelical duties to get blessings. Heresesy! In this wonderful life in the light it is freedom and grace! seeking the the Giver more than the gifts, praying is now asking to be drawn closer to the Jesus! And Jesus alone! The adulterous love affair with God's blessing versus God must now come to an end! The new life is costly, few finds it, Nontheless it is the real journey in the light! whether in plenty or in want, doesnt matter. It is no longer the good life as our goal and gospel but getting to know th good God! Im really in a gloruious mess here, just kindergarten in the light! The journey is great! Hope in!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALEX MY GRACIOUS BROTHER

Something's happening here

2006-02-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

predicatable guy as I am as my professor friend Dr. Bong dela fuente would call me - a creature of habit, i am not comfortable with the unsafe and unknown. As a minister i prefer having a smooth service with a clear end. This was not so in our church for the last two Sundays. There's something we cannot define is happening. I go back to what we call brokenness. Something easier to detect than define. Somehow i want define it now..... remember i dont like unclear direction.

The Lord broke our format for that sunday service. i just read passage from the bible that talks about the mouth and the heart. Psalm 19:14 hit me hard. " my the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable to You. My rock and redeemer" I was not able to preach honestly it was more of reading the word to the congregation than preaching. We ended in sobs and kneeling before the Lord in prayer asking for mercy and grace on how we have in many ways misused the the tongue to lacerete people's heart than build them. As a good friend have observed God has broken our foramat hopefully our hearts too" Lord make us desire being broken for you. Today i have officiated communion as a broken man, so helpless so needy of grace and mercy so needy of God! Something is happening here...... perhaps God is doing something He alone can do! Sweet brokenness!

brokeness

2006-02-01T22:32:00.000+08:00

my friends gave me a very timely book on brokeness. On the outset who would be attracted to such topic? Except some divine prompting leads you to scan and then discover the blessing that it brings. As the book said brokeness is like fragrance easier to detect than define. Those lines penetrated to my nerves. it seems to say you have or you dont have it, no neutral ground. It is a daily cry to God calling him to break the stubborn pride within me. And indeed God answers the cry of the broken!

God is here but God is especially near to those who call upon him in truth (psalm 145:18), such cry of the helpless is never denied by the Lord! Such nearness to God is humbling and refreshing. you feel clean after the breaking, conscious of your weakness and quick in your call for help. Here life is redefined not by the popular definition of the fast lane, but from the ancient perspective of the old book the a broken spirit the Lord will not despise.

The package of brokeness and the process of it is not attractive. The product on the other hand is a new freedom, a fresh sense of spirituality and a much more meaningful life. Lord help us choose to be broken than unbroken!

Great is my helplessness!

2006-01-19T16:50:00.000+08:00

The popular hymn "Great is Thy Faithfulness" have touched the hearts of many. Personally it has made a spiritual impact in my life and the ministry. I remember singing that song with tears in my eyes especially that part that says "pardon for sin......" each time I sing that song I remember another song that is so clear in my heart "Great is my helplessness". Actually, it's not a song yet. It is still needing of words and tune and melody. But in my heart it is loudly sung!

I think when we understand and accept our great helplessness only then we can appreciate and take refuge in the great faithfulness of the Lord! May our helplessness lead us to the One who is eager to help. Without maligning hardwork and excellence i am daily reminded that if not for the faifhfulness of God, Im not able to stand my circumstances and that includes my self, the dark ego in my that is only tamed by the gentleness of Christ!

If you happen to read this blog the message is unless the Lord shows us our helplessness the song will be just one of the well loved song. Let us ASK God to show us our true picture without him. May we see how our empty promises and our duty bound service really look like before God! The next time we sing that song may God awaken in our hearts that our helplessness is the road to His faithfulness! Imagine the helpless finding the undeserved help from God! Oh good Lord have mercy on us!

Thorns and touch

2006-01-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

Who wants the hassles in life? honestly, we all find it attractive to just live life in its smooth phase. As for me being creature of habit, i want to stay safe. On the outset it looks perfectly fine until slowly one begin to feel the boredom and the tragedy of the uneventful! With amazement i wonder on those who dare, like my brother alex, honestly he inspires me a lot to come out of my walls. Little by little Im beginning to see progress.

Apostle Paul in the bible mentioned about his rare spiritual discoveries, not to mention this is exclusively his. imagine being caught in the third heaven and see some sites and heard some sounds that he is forbidden to disclose! Yet he mention a sharp thorn, that creates a persistent deal of inconvinience to his life. He begged God three times to take this away. Imagine he who prayed for others have not been able to pray for himself and get his desired response? Irony or false expectations? God replied "my grace is sufficient for thee".

God gave His sufficient touch of grace instead of instant relief. The result is always best for paul, his character is being built by the thorn and he is being refreshed by his touched. Could we also say he was pricked to be preserved? Preserved from what? From pride. from suferficial walk with God. to exempt him from the thorn is to expose him to danger. When finally life became eventful he learned the mystery that still bogs our minds to some extent, he slowly understood the meaning of when Im weak then I am strong. thorns and touch we both need them to grow deep!

God answers PRAYER!

2006-01-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

My friend jethro Adang and his wife gingging felt God's call for missionary work in one of the remote third world countries. After much prayer and preparation it looks like all is set. Until it was found out that they still lack 55,ooo pesos for their airfare. Jethro texted me asking me for prayer.

The thought remained in my heart. Must have been God's propmting to pray and obey. In my heart I struggled, as I always do especially when it comes to asking funds from the congregation. The Chrsitmas season just passed. People are finanancially drained, and its not time for this. To settle things in my heart I prayed to God silently that if the heaviness in my heart is still there before we end the 7am service I will now sound off for help. i already closed in prayer when finally i said jethro needs our help will you listen to God on how you can be a part of this work. Then the worhsip service ended.

For me it was a sacred moment of seeing God answer prayers. i remember the awesome sight of seeing people saccrifially and yet joyfully responded. Some emptied their wallet and gave for jethro's plane ticket. By the way i did not mention how much money was needed. Maybe I was embarassed of the idea. it was an awesome sight to see God answer prayer and His people obeying Him. a lady gave her dollars saving $69 dollars, an American missionary gave the last 500 pesos. Im humbled by the sight of this, Im grateful the Lord allowed us this experience.

A coke in can full of coins was also given for mission. Counting everything it all amounted to 62,000 pesos! I can remember the overwhelming joy all over Jethro's face mixed with tears of gratitude giving glory to God who answers prayer! Thank God im alive to see these things unfold! I can't wait til Sunday to tell God's people in our churhc of this miracle!

Another unique experience on Prayer

2006-01-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

Friday prayer meetings to me is not just a ministerial role that i do (paid to do), it is a unique experience each time we gather for prayer. Aside from the excitement meet the Lord in prayer, its a joy to see others pouring their hearts in prayer too. This night's prayer meeting reminded all of us that more than our individual prayers there's a unique joy to pray for others and being prayed by them too.

For the past months we have enjoyed our individual prayer though we are gathered us a congregation. This time its different, as we were about to close the meeting, I feel prompted to ask the people to hold each others hands and ask the name of the person he or she is holding both on the right and left side. immediately there burst a new enthusiasm from the people, joyful wishepering of names! Then I ask them to pray for those hands they are holding asking God to bring them to church next friday, or whatever the Lord wants to pray for them. A powerful force of a church in prayer was unleashed, a fresh presence of grace and peace overwhelmed my heart.

The unique lesson is we are a community and we must not neglect that awesome sense of being a community of believers in Christ. We miss a lot of joy when we are self focused.

On sick leave

2006-01-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

Can't afford to get sick now a days. Can't be interupted with what we have set in our schedules and a thousand more details we have added to our endless "to do list". But just the same even with out our persimission we all do get sick! The viruses that are fellowshipping with us daily awaits the lucky winner with whom it will have a time of close conversation for at least 5 days (virus are selft limiting), when the 5 days is over and mr. virus still stays hmmmp time to call your aunt-anti biotic! Then let's see whats next.

On the non viral side of life.....applying for sick leave is a blessing! Invites us to think and later on give thanks. Reminds us that we are not superhumans, we do get sick. We say we have not invited the visitation of the virus. Well, it seems that one way or the other we have given them a juicy inviation. Look at the amount of sleep we have, the food we eat and the junks that we feed our body. Not to mention the tons of schedules we take (because we cant or wont say no) into our day or into the coming days. Sick leave uninvited ha?

it is in this state of slowdown that we learn to reflect a lot of thoughts visit our minds. Don't shoo them away let them flow for a moment and learn to value the blessings of evaluation. this can be good start of a better perspective and a better life. I remember the words of Jesus "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness....." taking a sick leave is awful, yet it can be an awesome discovery of our helplessness that invites us to turn to Jesus the One who helps the helpless! . By the way sick leave allows you to rest and not feel guilty.

Not Just Another Prayer Meeting

2006-01-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

today i woke up with a different kind of enthusiasm. it's the first prayer meeting of the year 2006! It's the first early morning wedsnesday prayer meeting of our church. What's so exciting about it? Actually there is nothing fancy about this gathering. What makes it outstanding is that you can sense a holy excitement among the people in seeking help from God! Those that gather on this prayer meeting are rock-solid convinced of their utter helplessnesss. Such helpless state makes them realize that God answers the cry of the weak!

The meeting is not about changing the mind of God, for no one can manipulate God. Rather it is in response to the invitation of God for His people to PRAY. Something sacred begins to come alive again: a church who has been lifeless for the past 50 years is now on her knees. Honestly, something also happens to a preacher's heart when it begins to cry to God for help! Can't wait until next Wedsnesday and Friday when we will all gather again to pray!

The meeting ended with a simple song, "Expect a Miracle When you Pray!" Don't you think it's about time to catch up? Ask God to rekindle the fire of prayer in your life now. He still ansewers prayer!

timely accidents 2

2005-12-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

life is filled with extremes. you either be carerless or too careful. between those sides of the pendulum is what they call balance. Again even the word itself is illusive. How do you know that you are living in this balance life? whats the standard? whats the excess? Is there room for suprises? Or life is what we predict and what we programmed it to be? is sameness safety?

In a carefully or carelessly lived life something we call "timely accidents" refuse to be caged in the box of expectation. it pops out and declare its own independence. Things you think you have no time such us blogging only to end up doing it ....slowly discovering something you thought was not there. timely accidents when finally viewed in the eyes of humble faith can actually be a source of something sacred, something worthy of reflection, a discovery of SOMEONE in control ushering you to a new world of submssion and surrender. Then finally peace instead of paranoia. Timely accidents must lead us to SOMEONE who is actually the director of it all.

timely accidents

2005-12-26T19:57:00.000+08:00

So we think we are in control of our lives and schedules? Honestly, the more i look at the daily grind i see that Someone is in full control of everything. Things get a lttle complicated because we always have the idea that we're in charge. everything is in our 'to do list' for the next five years or more. Somehow things we call "accidents" interrupt our neat lives, leaving an invitation to a sacred awakening of pleasant surprises! Timely accidents are actually timely appointments. Don't run from it, slowly learn to embrace it. Then you realize that Someone is in control more than yourself.